Being a Mom.. a real one, to a BABY

Becoming a mother is quite a trip. Things have definitely changed, some for the better, others not so much. Adjustments have been made for sure, and we are figuring it out. I think (i hope) that being a mom has come pretty naturally to me. I feel like I have a handle on it most days, I am human and I fall apart once in a while (mostly just when theres a major diaper blowout and I need some serious help!!) but other than that I'm good. I feel as though my hormones have balanced themselves out--going back to work has put us all on a better schedule, and I feel like that really helps. I am getting plenty of rest, the baby is a fantastic sleeper, we are surely blessed! She is a wonderful, easy going baby! I love her so much. I just knew the first day back at work I would lose it and just cry, but I held it together, and just reminded myself that I would see her in a few hours, and I did just fine. ( i don't think she really noticed that I was gone.. ) It was hard leaving her, but I knew that she was in good hands and things would work out, and they have.
I can't wait to see the growth/changes of my little girl.. will she look like me? like her daddy? what kind of personality will she have? blonde hair? blue eyes? Will she be a daddy's girl? all these things, I just can't hardly wait. I know I know.. cherish her as a baby--and I will, but I'm just excited about the future and I know it will get here too soon.

New mom, work, hormones, etc

It's back to work I go.. I'm looking forward to getting on a schedule, I am NOT looking forward to leaving my babe. I suppose it's my fault, but I have not left her with anyone except my husband for more than an hour and 15 minutes.. And now I am going back to work, and will have to go about 4-5 hrs without her the first day. How will she do? Will she cry and miss me? What if she just needs to hear the sound of my voice or the beat of  my heart? She is probably a lot tougher than her ol mom. I know I will get used to it and she will be just fine, but its nerve wrecking! 

I just have to be focused and know and remember that it could be worse, I do get to come home and see her everyday on lunch break so that's a major plus! 

I will definitely treasure and enjoy my last few days at home with her, even tho she probably doesn't know and won't know the difference, for a while anyhow. 

I am looking forward to some adult interaction ha! But then I'm sure I will long for some baby interaction too!! 

1 Month Old

I'm thinking if I don't start talking about food on this here blog, I might want to consider changing the name of it!
Our little miss is now officially 1 month old! wow!! It seems like she should really only be about 2 weeks old, but time sure flies, that is for sure!!
Age: 1 month (as of July 4)
Weight: 7lbs 7 oz, still not quite up to birth weight, but we are getting there ounce by ounce, and the pediatrician is encouraged by how she looks and how much she is eating
Height: 20 1/4 inches (long and lean) just like her daddy
Hair/Eye Color: dirty blonde hair/eyes are a super dark grayish blue still ( i will be curious to see if they change or not)
Likes: loves to take a bath, loves to be outside
Dislikes: hates getting out of the bath, and hates having to get her nose suctioned! (who wouldn't right??)
Memorable moments: having a major blowout at 3 am... and then 2 days later, having another major blowout all over your daddy!
You are certainly growing each and every day! I think your looks are changing and your really getting bigger and bigger every day. Sometimes the only thing that soothes you is being up against Mommy's chest and just being held (and thats always a good spot!). Daddy loves to rub noses with you, and I think you just tolerate it for him (haha). You only cry when your hungry or when your belly is upset, and you always get the hiccups in the middle of the night. Overall, your a very good baby and just go with the flow. Your a wonderful car rider and always do good at the doctors office. We took you to Sam's Club and you slept the entire time, everyone ooh'ed and ahh'ed over you, I was one proud Momma for sure!
I can't wait for you to keep growing and get to that 8lb mark, I know it won't be long!!

Our Little One is here!

June 4, 2013 at 11:50 am, weighing in at 7 lbs 12 oz, and 20 inches long.. Our little Miss Avery arrived via c-section.
C-Section is not what I had anticipated on, but after being checked and then an extra ultrasound showing that baby was Frank breech, this was our safest option. At 38 weeks, my blood pressure was quite elevated and being on bed rest had not helped much- we asked if we could go ahead and schedule the surgery sooner b/c I was measuring a week ahead anyways-and we were pretty sure the baby was big enough! So the dr called down to see what they could schedule, and they told us to come back and we would have her the next day at 7:30 am (and to arrive at the hospital around 5 am!! ) Needless to say, by looking at the time of her arrival (11:50 am) we got pushed back because 2 girls had to have emergency c-sections, so we got to wait! I have NEVER been so thirsty in my life while waiting! I wasn't able to drink/eat anything after midnight the night before, then add not sleeping at all.. when i finally just went ahead and got up about 3:30 am to take a shower and get ready, i was a basketcase full of nerves, even throwing up in the shower! Go me!
But we finally walked back to the surgery room and I got my spinal block (which they allowed my husband to sit in the room and watch--i didn't know they would do that) but the dr was correct in telling me that it would hurt for about 20 seconds and that would be it- she was absolutely right! It seemed like no time had passed and I was crying as they were pulling her out, and then Dad and baby were whisked off to the nursery. We ended up staying in the hospital from Tuesday to Saturday, with my high blood pressure, and then baby's jaundice levels got to high, it was a LOT longer than I had planned on. We finally made it home though and things settled down, somewhat.. well, not really--who am i kidding. The first week home was ROUGH! I just felt super overwhelmed all the time, feeling like I couldn't get anything done, the baby didn't want to nurse so I am now a pumping machine! and I just felt like I was hurting everyone's feelings and yadda yadda yadda.. ya know, all that great hormonal stuff!
Things are getting on track tho-don't get me wrong, we still have rough patches. But I feel confident and at ease being at home with her. I thought driving with her in the car would give me severe anxiety, but I have a mirror so I can see her in the carseat, and she is a great rider, and I haven't had any problems. (the only problem is that its 500 degrees outside, so I never stop sweating, thats a problem lol) The little miss is a great sleeper, most nights she only gets up one time, and yes, she is sleeping in the bed with us, which i said I would NOT do.. but hey, I'm not perfect. And if she's sleeping, then thats just fine with me.
I am looking forward to going back to work, but then again I'm fearful of leaving her. I'm not far from home, and I will see her everyday on my lunch break-and I'm a first time mom, so there's no telling how its really going to go until the day arrives. It will all work out I'm sure. Thousands of women work and have babies- I can do this! Other than that, things are just going day by day, hour by hour.. I think her looks change each and every day, I love her more and more each and every day, my heart gets fuller and fuller each day- I couldn't ask for more. (maybe just a little break in the heat, I can ask for that right?? ha!)

Blessed.

I feel like here lately (and in the beginning of my pregnancy) that I have really been getting down & complaining a lot. When you puke everyday for 15-16 weeks, can you really blame a person for complaining?? But in all honesty, I know that I (that David and I) are blessed beyond measure. The first go round with getting pregnant didn't work out the way we wanted it to, and I know there was a reason for that. When we found out we were expecting this time around, we didn't get our hopes up, we tried to stay grounded.. and when the morning sickness took over, I knew everything was going to work itself out--and it has.
Being able to carry a baby inside of me has been challenging, and rewarding. I have truly cherished watching the little babe move around in my stomach, being able to see the expression on Davids face when he felt her move for the first time. Seeing the look in Davids eyes when we found out it was a girl, will always be in my mind. What a wonderful opportunity and blessing to become a mother-I know that she isn't here yet, but just carrying this life inside of me makes me a mom--I think.
I don't know what the future holds, I don't know what she looks like, what she's going to act like, if she will be a healthy baby or a sick baby..but no matter what, she is mine to take care of on this earth, to love and to cherish--its almost like your wedding vows, but its more amazing than that. I don't have to build my love for her, because I already have it. I love her, its so odd, I have never felt this way before-- I feel sentimental all the time--these hormones are crazy ha! So needless to say, I am feeling very blessed each and every day to be able to hold this child in my womb, and I cannot wait for her to get here and I cannot wait to love her for all of my days.

36 Weeks, Measuring at 37

How Far Along: 36 Weeks, measuring a week ahead though

Total weight gain/loss: 25 lbs. I wish to NOT gain any more either! ha!

Stretch marks: so far so good- still just prominent looking veins for now, which I'm suprised about really- i figured I would get some stretch marks, and maybe I still will??

Sleep: just functioning day to day on what sleep I can get, which in total for each night is about 3-4 hours, 5 if I'm really lucky. At this point I need a drink about every hour, and then I have to get up and use the bathroom every other other- so its a load of fun - and then of course your supposed to sleep on your left side, but then my hips get all achy blah!

Best Moment: having my baby shower a few weeks ago, I was so suprised by all the gifts and everyone that came, it was wonderful!!

Movement: still lots of movement... I was hoping she would get in position by now and stop moving so much-- but thats not the case. hopefully she will make her downward descent VERY soon

Cravings: orange juice (but that's nothing new with me) I love grapes right now; I did have a craving for hot dogs--thats until I literally hurled all night long after eating one (no more hot dogs for me)

Aversions: hot dogs haha--see above! lol

Gender: Girl

Labor Signs: so I've heard the term lightening crotch, I think I'm having that here lately-just shooting pains and pressure down low, but it does go away pretty quick. At this point, I'm just getting nervous, wondering when and what is going to happen (will my body start labor naturally or will i have to be induced/c-section, ya know all those worries)

Belly Button: theres no belly button left, just as flat as my stomach.

What I miss most: good sleep, and unswollen feet... oh my feet are swollen bad!

Milestones/Looking Forward to: Going to get checked for dialation this week (the exam won't be fun, but I will get some good information hopefully) I am just ready for her to be here!

Emotional/Hormonal, is there a difference?

So I think my emotions have gotten the best of me during this pregnancy.. Emotions?? or Hormones?? I'm going to stick with hormones. I can be fine one minute, and then I take something the wrong way, or I don't get my way, and what do ya know, I start crying. I am NOT a crier, never have been. Something serious has to set me off. My poor husband, I hope he doesn't move off on me, like seriously take his stuff and run! Its pretty bad. I tried to warn him, but he's a man, he forgets. He always forgives me though, so I gotta give him credit for that.
I know the next 2 months are really going to be hardcore (hormone wise), I'm doing my best to keep it all in check! I honestly think I have only had about 3-4 breakdowns, 2 of them took place while trying to go to bed. I just feel so exhausted and get super edgy really fast at night. But hey, I have a good excuse- and when I'm not pregnant, I'm a pretty super wife if I say so myself.. HAHA!! (that oughta make ya laugh right?)