Friday, June 28, 2013
C-Section is not what I had anticipated on, but after being checked and then an extra ultrasound showing that baby was Frank breech, this was our safest option. At 38 weeks, my blood pressure was quite elevated and being on bed rest had not helped much- we asked if we could go ahead and schedule the surgery sooner b/c I was measuring a week ahead anyways-and we were pretty sure the baby was big enough! So the dr called down to see what they could schedule, and they told us to come back and we would have her the next day at 7:30 am (and to arrive at the hospital around 5 am!! ) Needless to say, by looking at the time of her arrival (11:50 am) we got pushed back because 2 girls had to have emergency c-sections, so we got to wait! I have NEVER been so thirsty in my life while waiting! I wasn't able to drink/eat anything after midnight the night before, then add not sleeping at all.. when i finally just went ahead and got up about 3:30 am to take a shower and get ready, i was a basketcase full of nerves, even throwing up in the shower! Go me!
But we finally walked back to the surgery room and I got my spinal block (which they allowed my husband to sit in the room and watch--i didn't know they would do that) but the dr was correct in telling me that it would hurt for about 20 seconds and that would be it- she was absolutely right! It seemed like no time had passed and I was crying as they were pulling her out, and then Dad and baby were whisked off to the nursery. We ended up staying in the hospital from Tuesday to Saturday, with my high blood pressure, and then baby's jaundice levels got to high, it was a LOT longer than I had planned on. We finally made it home though and things settled down, somewhat.. well, not really--who am i kidding. The first week home was ROUGH! I just felt super overwhelmed all the time, feeling like I couldn't get anything done, the baby didn't want to nurse so I am now a pumping machine! and I just felt like I was hurting everyone's feelings and yadda yadda yadda.. ya know, all that great hormonal stuff!
Things are getting on track tho-don't get me wrong, we still have rough patches. But I feel confident and at ease being at home with her. I thought driving with her in the car would give me severe anxiety, but I have a mirror so I can see her in the carseat, and she is a great rider, and I haven't had any problems. (the only problem is that its 500 degrees outside, so I never stop sweating, thats a problem lol) The little miss is a great sleeper, most nights she only gets up one time, and yes, she is sleeping in the bed with us, which i said I would NOT do.. but hey, I'm not perfect. And if she's sleeping, then thats just fine with me.
I am looking forward to going back to work, but then again I'm fearful of leaving her. I'm not far from home, and I will see her everyday on my lunch break-and I'm a first time mom, so there's no telling how its really going to go until the day arrives. It will all work out I'm sure. Thousands of women work and have babies- I can do this! Other than that, things are just going day by day, hour by hour.. I think her looks change each and every day, I love her more and more each and every day, my heart gets fuller and fuller each day- I couldn't ask for more. (maybe just a little break in the heat, I can ask for that right?? ha!)