Don't Stop Believing..

So much for having 5 posts for the month.. it is now Oct 24, and I have NOT written all month!
Go me!! Lets see.. I've been at my new job right at a month now, and its been great! Although last week I got the stomach bug and missed 2 days-I never get sick, and whatya know.. I got sick! David was so wonderful and did a great job of taking care of me, I'm so thankful for him, that is FOR SURE. Since being sick I have missed a whole week at the gym- but have lost about 5 pounds anyways from losing everything in my system in the process of having the virus. Yuck!
Life has not been too terribly exciting here lately--David has taken up hunting a little here and there--with his new bow, i hope he gets something (besides a squirrel, PLEASE) haha! Some friends and I went out to the pumpkin patch a few weeks back, and then David and I went to the Balloon Fest this past weekend.. (unfortunately, we were not impressed) I was really hoping to ride in a balloon--my dreams were short lived :( Maybe one day..
I must get into baking some new recipes--the last things i made were peanut butter cookies and double chocolate cookies for our Rockband night!! Which i rocked of course...LOL " don't stop believing" by journey--that song was made for me.. just ask my sister and aimee.. So Don't judge, the picture of me is not the best--but i was so in the moment thats for sure!!

Anxiety/Tiredness..

I need a boost of energy! I need a boost of confidence!
I started my new job last Friday--so I've got 3 days in. I have experienced more anxiety this last month than I ever have before, in my life! Not b/c of the new job, but knowing that I'm having to start over and learn something totally different. Not knowing how to perform certain tasks is scary and causes me stress. I am making sure to just ask questions when I'm uncertain, but at the same time I'm trying to catch everything the first time through--which I know is not always possible. I'm praying more and more each and everyday--and honestly, every time I pray- I feel a sense of comfort come over me, its the best feeling in the world. But sometimes, I forget to just stop and take a deep breath and pray about it. I need to work on that, for sure!
I'm also feeling more tired and grumpy lately (at home anyways)..its a combination of not sleeping well at night, or not getting to bed early enough, or not getting up early enough and I'm running around in a hurry. I'm still working out about 4 or 5 days a week, which makes me tired in the morning-but I know its good for me, so I MUST keep going.
I know I can do this--its going to be a positive step for me. I can do this! I can do this!

I'm finally 25..

25.. who would have thought. It seems like a big milestone some days.. and then again, some days I feel the same as I did when i was 22, 23, 24.. They all seem to be running together.
My last day at the bank was on my birthday. I started my new job the next day. I seriously had mixed emotions. I was really ready for a change--I thought about it, prayed about it, suffered from some severe anxiety about it. But, I told my husband if they offered me the job, I was going to take it. I wasn't so nervous on Friday- but now the closer Monday gets, the anxiety is building back up. I must be tough, and just go with it..can't be that bad right?
I had a good birthday though, David sent me flowers and made me dinner (which was so good) and i even got a workout in!
Even though my hours for work have changed, I have still got to make it a priority to go to the gym.. i have to!
I've still been baking and cooking up a storm, snickerdoodles, biscuits, peanut butter blossoms, homemade pancakes! YUM! I also made apple chunk muffins and banana bread. I somehow always forget to take a picture tho--geez. I will post the few that I have though. for you to enjoy--i apologize ahead of time (i'm no photographer) and they taste better than they look!

I've got it!

It just came to mind today when I was talking to a co-worker.. They shouldn't call it FaceBook, they should call it CookBook.. so, I was talking about what my blog name should be..I need something witty, and thats it. Cookbook, not Facebook. So I will try it out, see if I like it.
Yesterday I made Banana Bread.. success! I even tried it. Tonight I made Chunky Apple Muffins. Yum! The first thing out of the husbands mouth was, I don't like apples. But guess what, he ate two..right in a row, uh..must be pretty good right? I think so!
I love love love my new KitchenAid Mixer--i never thought of myself as a good baker--but man, this totally makes a huge difference and I just enjoy it so much!
I'm no Martha Stewart, but I'm trying her recipes, and some recipes from a cookbook my mother-in-law gave me. I just feel so happy when I'm cooking/baking/experimenting..and then getting to see my little taste tester enjoy what I made, feels even better!

Happy Anniversary.

Sept 5, 2011 was David and I's 2nd wedding anniversary. We got married on a Labor Day weekend, and every year we forget about this until its time to make a plan for what we want to do.. But oh well, we always have a nice time.
This year... the weekend went like this--Friday night after work we went to La Fiesta in Fort Smith and ate dinner (david never takes me to eat mexican when I want too--so i was surprised he wanted to go).. Saturday we got up and decided to go shopping for each other. He headed to town, and then a few minutes later I headed out too.. I stopped for a quick visit with my grandparents first--but that turned in to 3 hours, gotta love em! I just enjoy sitting at their kitchen table swapping stories and such--I even got a new cookbook. Then I headed to Academy, Old Navy, and Shoe Carnival. I went hoping to get David a new pair of shoes, but no one had the right size and it was hard to get any employee to help.. that drives me crazy!!
So I headed to the mall in hopes of finding the shoes. No such luck, whatya know.. So I figured I would run into the Mens Dillards to see if they were having any sales on Polo apparel. I found some short sleeve polos (with the little pony) --david will NOT wear anything with the big pony.. Must be the little pony haha!! I picked out 2 shirts they were on clearance for $34.75, in the middle of checking out a lady said are these the price on the sticker? The guy working says "no, its 50% of that.. so $18 per shirt.. WOW!! i had to get another one.. thats crazy cheap-my husband has expensive taste so I had to get them. That night we had reservations at the Red Barn Steakhouse--it took about 10 minutes for anyone to even say hello to us, and then the food was not good. It wasn't horrid, but I can make a better steak than that.. we were disappointed to say the least. But we had a nice evening.
--David said he didn't get me anything b/c he couldn't find any good deals.. I thought and said no big deal, i don't really need anything. Sunday came, we went to Poteau and I got some groceries, nothing too exciting. At this point, I was coping with the fact that he really didn't get me anything--no big deal right? Monday morning he comes in and wakes me up and tells me I should go make a cake with my new mixer--i was like whatever--you didn't get me anything. I get up and peak around the corner, nothing on the kitchen table--good one david.. So, he ran to the store and I got up went to the bathroom, walked in the kitchen to get some juice.. and what do ya know... there it is. MY KITCHEN AID MIXER!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!!! In Pistachio, the color I wanted and everything. At this point, I'm screaming and the dogs are barking wondering what the heck is going on. And I have to wait for David to get back--wow. BEST PRESENT EVER!!!!! Seriously, it was like Christmas, and I couldn't thank him enough!! I LOVE IT!! I have made 2 cakes, 2 batches of peanut butter cookies, and I have a pound cake in the oven as I type.. :) I love it!!

--and i think David liked his shirts too! haha.

Lavender & Lime

I joined the gym! I did it, no more excuses, I know have a PAID membership, and I don't want to waste my money.
Danielle, Sarah, and I went last thursday, got a tour of the place and some information and signed up! The lady that was there was SUPER nice, which makes it even better and made me feel more comfortable. The gym is really nice, with great equipment. I'm on day 2 now and today we stayed and watched the zumba class for a few minutes. Now i'm excited, we are gonna try it out next week! Yay!
I'm watching what I'm eating, I switched my lunch break from 1pm to 11:30, so I don't have time to snack before lunch, and i think it will really make a difference! I have taken my lunch to work with me, no eating out for lunch OR breakfast!! And I have really been watching my portions. I just can't wait until I see a result, I know it will take some time, but I'm pumped about it. And guess what else? When I lose 15 pounds, I AM GOING TO LOSE 15 POUNDS, David promised to get me my kitchen aid mixer.. AHHH!!!
It couldn't get here soon enough, but I want to do it the healthy way--so Kitchen Aid Mixer, get ready to come home to Kristin.!!!!

4 to 5 per month

My goal is to write at least 4 to 5 blogs each month.. That sorta seems like a lot, but some blogs that I follow-they write at least 30 a month.. I can't imagine doing that! So some may be super random, others may mean have more importance. I guess we will find out as we go.
Today has been just another day. Its dreadfully HOT!! and my poor husband, i feel so bad for him. But I'm glad he's such a hard worker and is sticking it out!! I could definitely NOT do it! Other news from today.. Danielle, Sarah, and I have decided to go to the gym in Greenwood and see about getting a membership. Hopefully we can do it. Hopefully I can do it. As we have seen from previous posts, losing weight and staying in shape are not my strong suits, but I would like to drop a few pounds before David and I get pregnant.. So I'll keep you updated..

Random.

Just because I want tooo... Here are 10 Random things.
--these may include things about my husband too..so don't get all technical on me.

1. I love Chicken..my husband does not.
2. I really want to take some cooking classes, not b/c I'm bad at it..but I just love to cook and would love to broaden my horizons!
3. I love watching QVC (but only In the Kitchen with David)
4. I truly think my husband looks like Jude Law (love this!!)
5. I would love to be a better cleaner, my house isn't filthy, but having 3 dogs,ehh.. it gets real old, real quick.
6. I want to have Lasik done, but I'm pretty sure I'm too scared.
7. My stepsister and I both have a freckle on the same spot of our foot. Mine is on my right foot, hers on the left. I'm right handed she's lefthanded.. weird huh? lol
8. One day I hope to be a good DIY girl. I wish my house was decorated like a cottage, one day I will decorate, and do it all on my own.
9. I wish I could work at the Food Network, or maybe just be a librarian..whichever opportunity arises first..
and #10. I really want new carpet in my house (if that isn't random, i don't know what is) lol

Extra $$

I've been thinking about earning an extra income. I know it would help tremendously to have a little more cash
going into our savings account. Who doesn't like extra $$$$?? I haven't ever met anyone who doesnt mind to have
a little extra in their wallet. So I really want to sell Tupperware. But I'm having a heard time locating someone that sells
it in my area. I just wish I didn't have to go through another consultant--I wish I could do it all on my own. But then again,
I would still need someone to show me the ropes.
I've been looking online at all the products, and they aren't very expensive, and I would LOVE to have alot of it in my own
kitchen. Maybe I should start buying some and testing it out so I can be a true example of the brand itself.
Just my thoughts for the day..

Surprise!!

Today is the day.. I've planned a suprise 50th birthday party for my DAD!! Hopefully, everyone has kept it a secret, and I'm hoping that he has NO idea.. He's not really into receiving gifts, he usually gets mad if we get him anything.But i really just don't care haha. You only turn 50 once, and he deserves to have a day thats just about him! I'm making some bbq brisket, smoked sausage, dirty rice, & baked beans. I ordered a cake, of course a fishing cake that is..with decorations and all, picked up a happy birthday banner too. We are also have coconut pie & ice cream. Along with just one of two presents to top it off.
i hope it all goes well, and can't wait to see how he reacts! I love my dad, so this is for him.. Happy Birthday Dad! --wish me luck!

break out..

So I don't think i'm under any more stress than usual..but I could be lying to myself about that.. My poor face is breaking out like crazy.And let me tell you, I don't have acne..I never have. I might have one breakout here and there.. but I have 3 on my face right now. whats the deal. I know 3 may seem like nothing to most people, and I'm glad its not any worse--but I never ever have this problem.
It may seem silly to even talk about--but I sure hope it goes away. I can't hardly stand it, and my ever so LOVELY husband likes to point them out as much as possible..eww..

Confession...

I have a confession to admit...

I'm a kitchen gadget lover.. If you take me to a store that has kitchen "stuff" (utensils, pots, pans, plates, bowls, etc)..you will never lose me, because thats where I'll be. I have every gadget you could ever need--except for a Kitchen Aid Mixer (in candy apple red) that i would LOVE to have..hint hint..haha! I don't know that I honestly have room for it,, but wouldn't it honestly complete my kitchen?? No kitchen should be without one, if i say so myself..
I have Rachel Ray pots and pans (which honestly aren't that wonderful) but thats what I've got, so thats what I use. I have the RR garbage bowl and knife set.. i don't use the garbage bowl for garbage since my trash can is in the kitchen--but i do use it for various things.the knife set isn't bad either. I have about 6 aprons, I try to use them, when I remember to..I usually remember right after i get something on my shirt, and think to myself--ahh, i shoulda had one of those million aprons i have on.. Oh well..
I love to just look at all the new kitchen gadgets, i'm in heaven.. I usually spend about 10-15 minutes looking thru all of it. I LOVE to watch QVC on sunday afternoons, In the Kitcehn w/David..great Show!! really i do love it. David gets mad when I watch TV, he says all i ever watch is the food network and HGTV... I told him if we had the COOKing Channel, I'd watch that too..lol
I just got a WOK, which my mom bought me.. ITs soo neat. when they say NON stick--they mean it! I've been told I need to get a cast iron skillet--working on that too.. I'm sorta scared to used cast iron, but gotta learn somehow right? Can you even use cast iron on a electric stove top? I should know that right?
I would also love to have a dutch oven, but gee whiz are they expensive. I know they make knock off versions of these, but then you can only cook on the stove with them and not in the oven too.. I need the kind that can handle EVERYTHING!
Also, I probably have 15 cook books if not more.. I love to just sit and look at them, I love to read blogs about cooking, i love to just look at different recipes.. I love everything about kitchens.. I Love to eat so thats always good! lol
maybe kitchen stuff is my addiction..ha!

Follow Thru Syndrome

I think I have follow thru syndrome...First let me explain what I mean by this.. there may be a better term to use, but this is what I came up with. I am super good at making lists of things to do, lists of things I need from the grocery store, lists of accomplishments I wish to achieve.. but following thru with these lists is my weak spot.. I follow the to-do's for maybe a week, maybe two if I'm lucky..but often after that they dissolve. They are still lingering around and I look at them from time to time..but nothing more than that..
I made a list of household chores--example: Monday:sweep, dishes, wash a load of laundry. Tuesday: sweep, dust, dry laundry and put away. Wednesday: sweep, clean bathroom, dishes. Thursday:sweep, swiffer, and mop, laundry, vacuumm..Friday: dishes, sweep..
You get the point. So I dd this for a week i think--go me.. Then, I got the bright idea I would make a list of every thing I did once I got home..Feed dogs, sweep, unload and load dishwasher, put some clothes away, organized the bathroom cabinet, go to walmart, bring the trashcans up to the house, let the dogs in for a while, start a load of laundry, make a grocery list..on and on and on..(hopefully, making me feel as though I accomplished something..anything) but that only lasted one day.. ONE day. wow...I can NOT follow thru.
THis does not mean that if I don't have a list the laundry or the dishes don't get done--b/c they do..eventually. when i'm out of underwear, I know its time to do some laundry--lol I try to not be that bad, but sometimes you just can't help it. Especially when your husband doesnt do ANY household chores--except taking out the trash, and that usually means, tying up the bag so I can't stuff anything else in there.. I usually end up throwing it out the front door b/c i'm sick of waiting on him to do it..lol But then again, he works hard for us--he's out in the BLAZING heat to help pay the bills..so if I have to throw the trash out the front door--and thats all I have to complain about, i suppose, well i know I'm pretty well off.. ( i do love that guy...so i can look past it) But anyways, i think maybe i don't have trouble following thru..maybe its just because I have Lazy syndrome..thats what my husband would call it.. I'll grow out of it, little by little, maybe, maybe not.who knows.
Theres no medical term for my problem..so thats a plus in itself.haha!

A day in my/our life...

So this weekend was good... Friday after work we had to run to my dads bc his ac unit upstairs wasn't working, and then we stopped by moms on the way home to check on hers too.. Ok so I didn't do anything except supervise, David did it all of course! I did carry some tools at one point! Saturday morning I got up and read the newspaper outside, around 8am..it was windy and overcast and just nice to be outside! Then me and mom went to town..kohls, Tuesday morning, we were supposed to go to the dollar tree..but we forgot I guess..then we went at lunch at joes pizza and pasta...WOW..sooo good! Then hit up big lots, where I got dog food for 50 cents a can..which is a great deal! And some laundry det for $2.50! Then we went to office depot, I was in search of a small binder that I could put all my coupons in..yes I know, the major couponers use a big binder..but it's just me and David and I don't want to buy a bunch of crap we will never ever use ya know? I did find a business card holder, which holds 100 cards.. 100 coupons for me that is! After that..we stopped at Wally world and mom picked up some steaks and we decided we would grill at my house..we headed home after that, it was HOT! I got the house cleaned up and the steaks marinated..mom and her boyfriend came over and so did grandpa..we had steak, potatoes in the oven, bread, and corn on the cob..I know, starchy!! Lol after dinner, we decided to go swimming..so nice!
Sunday..I missed church, I guess sat really took it out of me..I ran to michaels and target..got some more good deals..got David a razor for$2.54 and some dog treats for $1 and also some bathroom cleaner for $1.48 (which I really need to go use lol). I made lunch when I got back and then decided to go swimming again..I'm hoping maybe I'll get a lil tan one day! Other than that..I think it wraps up my weekend..boring I know!

Maybe Next time

Life doesn't always bring out the best things for us. It puts us into situations that we would rather avoid and sometimes pushes us into a tight spot that we cant seem to get away from. I know I was too quick to get excited--but what a blessing it was!
I prayed constantly that if it was meant to happen, then it would. If it wasn't God's will, i prayed for healing, peace, and patience; not only for myself but especially for David. David & I talked about starting a family and I was ecstatic. I knew that I wanted to be married for over a year before we even thought about trying. and david wanted to wait til i was 25--so we thought this was a good fit.
Unfortunately, this wasn't our time & I miscarried on Mothers Day weekend. They took tons of pictures with the ultrasound and everywhere they looked, it was empty. But on the upside, I know that we can and will try again when the time is right. This is a difficult situation in life that I wish David and I could have skipped over--but I know there's a reason for everything and I have to trust that this wasn't in God's timing.
Although, I keep asking myself, what could I have done differently? Is it me? Am I capable of carrying a child? I wish I knew the answers, but in fact, I do not. But I'm being optimistic--David is holding me strong, and we can do this.

p.s. If you did not know what was going on with this situation, I apologize.. this is not something that I could just come out and tell the world immediately. ITs not something that I have shared with everyone--some people are just now finding out. When we went to the doctors office--I was kinda at a loss--and I think i just told the people that I had to tell. so i extend my apologies to you now.

Obviously

When will I ever be good enough? It's frustrating..try try try, and u just end up exactly where you began.
That's life though I suppose. I'm sure I'll keep pushing on..day in and day out.what the heck right?

I need to work on my self esteem, I need to work on my sarcasm..I wish I could wake up and just be positive..be positive ALL day long.what a difference that would be right? I honestly think that if I were less negative and more positive..I would feel better, feel healthier, feel happier..the list would go on and on...

Obviously its something I need to work on..

Grateful....

There are so many things that we are grateful for.. so why not share a few?

Home.. I am grateful that the Lord has blessed me with such a wonderful home, a roof over my head, shelter, a place to run to..our house is still new to us, but we are slowly making it our "home"..i think this will take a while, but we are working on it daily..

Family.. I am so grateful for my family..whether or not we get along all the time or not, whether we are near or far, whether we talk on a daily basis or only once a month.. I am thankful for the family members i have, and so thankful for the ones that can no longer be here on earth with us. They have shaped me into the person I am, they have raised me, and they have loved me.

Work.. yeh yeh, i know what your thinking..your grateful for your job?? yeh right.. but really, I'm grateful that I have a job, I have worked since I was 16 and i have to make a life for myself, and whether I like my job or not, i gotta do it.. I'm glad that I get up every morning and do it over and over again..

Dogs.. ha! I'm thankful for the little babies I have here at home, they are always so excited to see me..who wouldn't love that right? They will always love you no matter what.

Car/Transportation.. if I didn't have a car, where would i be? I suppose i would figure it out, but i'm grateful that i have a job (see above) and that I can have this kind of luxury, when i know there are millions of ppl out there that don't..

These are just a few things, in no particular order...just whats on my mind lately..when i pray at night, I always tell God how thankful I am for the things he has blessed me with. Where I would be without Him, I have no idea..

Holy Cow

A couple weeks back David called me late on a friday night while I was at work, and asked if I wanted to go out and eat at The Red Barn..i said sure, he made reservations, and I was excited! We had never been to the red barn, i heard it was really good and a great spot for a romantic dinner--which we don't have often..
Anyways, we ordered our food and were just talking and having a good time..David had recently started up a facebook account and got in touch with some friends from Georgia..he said he felt like it was time to grow up and that all of his friends had grown up and were starting families and that he felt as though he was still trying to live in the past... (holding on to the past for dear life, is more like it..haha)
But the point of all of this..he said he was ready to let them swim...LOL What i mean by this is, he said he was ready to have kids.. I wanted to make sure that he wasn't just doing this because everyone else was--was he just feeling pressured to have kids because he was behind? I needed to be sure this was HIS decision... At this point, at the restaurant, I was almost embarrassed i think, i was in so much shock i didn't know what to do or say..
But we have talked and I know that he is ready, but now I'm wondering if I am ready.. I think I'm just nervous now--am I ready ? I'm freaking out.. I know we have plenty of time, and I'm reminding myself of that.. But i think once we get pregnant, I'll have 9 months to get ready for everything right? lol I don't want to plan it though, I just want it to happen as it should, Gods plan is wayyyy better than our plan.. its not just way better..it is better! you get the point..
So I'm praying that if it should happen for us, it will... maybe i need to buy some baby books..haha.. (not really, not yet anyways)

July 2011

I have set up a goal and a compromise...to lose 25-30 pounds by July.. This is a goal that I know I can reach and a healthy amount of weight to lose for my body. The compromise you ask? Not only will I look and feel better, but if I reach my goal....David has promised to stop his bad habits as well! I'm so excited I can't hardly wait to start.
It's so very true that I have some HORRIBLE habits..I've had them all my life, so getting rid of them is easier said than done. I love starchy food, ya know..potatoes, bread, Mac and cheese, spaghetti, pizza...should I keep going? I love cokes, sweet tea, lots of orange juice..so yeh it's gonna be hard, I'm going to want to quit..but I've got to get into shape and get healthy! I know I've started this a hundred times, but this is for real! I'm gonna get out there and do it..if it's raining, that's no excuse to not exercise.I can either work out in the house or run on the treadmill at work..
I would really like a food regimen to stick to, and David told me to buy a book..but there are so many out there I wouldn't know which one to pick..but I'm going to just take some tips from online and do what I know is right and we will see what happens..so I'll keep my blog updated every so often when I do my weigh ins... Which I plan on weighing in once a week to keep up my my progress.. Ready set here I go!