Sunday, May 22, 2011

Maybe Next time

Life doesn't always bring out the best things for us. It puts us into situations that we would rather avoid and sometimes pushes us into a tight spot that we cant seem to get away from. I know I was too quick to get excited--but what a blessing it was!
I prayed constantly that if it was meant to happen, then it would. If it wasn't God's will, i prayed for healing, peace, and patience; not only for myself but especially for David. David & I talked about starting a family and I was ecstatic. I knew that I wanted to be married for over a year before we even thought about trying. and david wanted to wait til i was 25--so we thought this was a good fit.
Unfortunately, this wasn't our time & I miscarried on Mothers Day weekend. They took tons of pictures with the ultrasound and everywhere they looked, it was empty. But on the upside, I know that we can and will try again when the time is right. This is a difficult situation in life that I wish David and I could have skipped over--but I know there's a reason for everything and I have to trust that this wasn't in God's timing.
Although, I keep asking myself, what could I have done differently? Is it me? Am I capable of carrying a child? I wish I knew the answers, but in fact, I do not. But I'm being optimistic--David is holding me strong, and we can do this.

p.s. If you did not know what was going on with this situation, I apologize.. this is not something that I could just come out and tell the world immediately. ITs not something that I have shared with everyone--some people are just now finding out. When we went to the doctors office--I was kinda at a loss--and I think i just told the people that I had to tell. so i extend my apologies to you now.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Kristen ((hug)) It's not an easy thing to tell. Especially after you've already told the "world" you're exciting news and then you feel like you have to "un-tell" it and it's a little daunting. I've been there. I've had both a miscarriage and a full term loss and it's hard. I love your attitude and how you are carrying yourself. Hold on to each other and keep God the focus. You will find you are both stronger than you were before, as individuals and as a couple. Thinking of you and lifting you up in prayer.

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