Maybe Next time

Life doesn't always bring out the best things for us. It puts us into situations that we would rather avoid and sometimes pushes us into a tight spot that we cant seem to get away from. I know I was too quick to get excited--but what a blessing it was!
I prayed constantly that if it was meant to happen, then it would. If it wasn't God's will, i prayed for healing, peace, and patience; not only for myself but especially for David. David & I talked about starting a family and I was ecstatic. I knew that I wanted to be married for over a year before we even thought about trying. and david wanted to wait til i was 25--so we thought this was a good fit.
Unfortunately, this wasn't our time & I miscarried on Mothers Day weekend. They took tons of pictures with the ultrasound and everywhere they looked, it was empty. But on the upside, I know that we can and will try again when the time is right. This is a difficult situation in life that I wish David and I could have skipped over--but I know there's a reason for everything and I have to trust that this wasn't in God's timing.
Although, I keep asking myself, what could I have done differently? Is it me? Am I capable of carrying a child? I wish I knew the answers, but in fact, I do not. But I'm being optimistic--David is holding me strong, and we can do this.

p.s. If you did not know what was going on with this situation, I apologize.. this is not something that I could just come out and tell the world immediately. ITs not something that I have shared with everyone--some people are just now finding out. When we went to the doctors office--I was kinda at a loss--and I think i just told the people that I had to tell. so i extend my apologies to you now.

Obviously

When will I ever be good enough? It's frustrating..try try try, and u just end up exactly where you began.
That's life though I suppose. I'm sure I'll keep pushing on..day in and day out.what the heck right?

I need to work on my self esteem, I need to work on my sarcasm..I wish I could wake up and just be positive..be positive ALL day long.what a difference that would be right? I honestly think that if I were less negative and more positive..I would feel better, feel healthier, feel happier..the list would go on and on...

Obviously its something I need to work on..